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The Journey so Begins again

new blog land for me

hope you will join me as i start to just journal some things

it’s not going to have anything as an aim

just for me to vent & purge my feelings

as in free therapy

but of course i would still

let me know what you think

tillie x.

be happy and free like a butterfly

vision

years ago

i could visio myself in this little empty shell of a house me sitting on a stool end of the kitchen worktop reading a paper having a dog by my feet

now i do have a home its nice warm n safe i am sitting not two feet away from that worktop but on a bench with ny kitchen table on my phone perhaps instead of writing this i would be carrying on reading my book but im looking out upon my back fence seeing where the birds have their food but its just finished snowing n two of my cats are nearby waiting for the little mice to come out for the seeds too

this is happiness x.

53

i work as a checkout chick it was getting me down this looking at dating apps finding Dickson getting upset I’m not good enough .. so there I was serving a customer with the candles 53 .. I thought I’d give me myself another two years without looking

Within a few minutes under the next checkout I saw a lady wearing her converse trainers for her wedding yesterday

. The date being 4th sept .. the same day as one of my bestest friends from school

So 4th sept 2023 when I am 53 is the next time I will ever look at dating apps etc ..I’m free and want adventures and new friends

Be happi

Self growth

New month

  • I can find out things such as matching photos with the correct or even wrong place of where it’s supposed to be
  • I can find out who others are with thru social media
  • I can realise I only wanted that attention that I was indeed good enough for them because if I list the negatives I can deffo see the narcissistic traits the moods the anger the complete lying of how things really were some people cannot even see how nasty they were and see things differently to me as I was there
  • I can start now to focus upon me upon my body getting it back on track my diet of less sugar and more of what it should be more focus upon less spending more bills paying and enjoy that going to diffeolaves the ones out side not the ones in store
  • I don’t even want revenge
  • I just wanna better myself
  • I still want to remember my dreams but also more importantly see new ones
  • Take for example I saw a place in the sun omg it looked so good I want to travel all that way to sit in the sun on the beach but a day later it’s all cloudy and yes I still like the ocean but wow the place is probably not even worth visiting I’d rather go see the coast somewhere lovely little coves aren’t too far away from here
  • I loved having little ones showing them fishing by the harbour and just Imagine I may even get the chance to do that again this time with grandchildren and yes I will be without mr angry man mr moody and wow that will be so good and I won’t be taking anyone that drags me down ever again
  • I am on thi s journey now
  • New month new focus
  • Breathing
  • Being grateful
  • Mindfully meditation
  • Walking & uplifting music
  • No more focus upon food or drink
  • I eat if hungry I drink if thirsty if not I’m busy doing other things such as my hobbby or reading or just that special breathing with my chakras
  • x.

New blog

But I found my old Blake site eventually

But I’m locked out so I’ll post the link here mostly for my own benefit

https://isthisdomesticabuse.wordpress.com/2012/10/09/justin-lee-collins-found-guiltymystory/

https://isthisdomesticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/01/19/my-dissertation-on-how-there-needs-to-be-an-education-about-domestic-abuse/

My dissertation above

I had thought it was all of my old blog posts

So you could read all of what I went thru inc the sausage tale but ita not but here let’s start a new future

It is what it is

So from my next blog hopefully to provide its looking forward to the futures

peace within the covid siege

i have worried too much be one i had it early and so did my youngest lad so i kinda think if my others get it they will be ok too

however i don’t have any health issues especially no health anxieties partly to due the years of living on crushed egg shells knowing that any day i could be attacked again but killed also

but what i have enjoyed now is the ability to look inward and relish the fact that it did take work but i am so glad certain people are not in my life no more

i also get to chose certain family members i can step back and think hey i don’t like them i don’t need them

it’s freeing

imagine if ..

all the attention you have been giving people who are not good in your life

was causing you to retain negative energies

so how about if you stopped it

so no you can concentrate on yourself on all the positive ways to make a you make you feel proud to make you feel great

today’s tut email

with a little added extra from me to me

A question from your friend The Universe:
Just how much time do you spend thinking big
I mean really, really BIG?


Good, very good! Because that’s exactly how much of “it” you’re going to get!
What a coincidence, The Universe

which of these would suit you? (“All of them” works.)

A new healthy happi family home

Zippier friends

Passionate kissing

To have my own car motorbike and lover …. obviously my still dream

Lots of long weekend trips

Work-life-play balance


!Thoughts become things… choose the good ones! ® © www.tut.com ®

Matter is pure spirit, gail, only more so.